


Wouldn't it be good if it was understood

by ominous_softie



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Autism Spectrum, Headcanon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22548451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ominous_softie/pseuds/ominous_softie
Summary: This is about Elliot being Autistic.I would take a bullet for this headcanon.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 28





	Wouldn't it be good if it was understood

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Beam Me Up by Darlia

In his childhood, teachers and doctors alike suggested Elliot be assessed for autism. Despite Magda's relluctance, Edward insisted it couldn't hurt, and thus Elliot was eventually diagnosed. Magda largely ignored and denied the diagnosis, at least until Edwards death (good riddance).

From then on, Magda's treatment of her children only got worse. Everytime Elliot would flap, she'd hold his wrists still, sharp fingernails leaving red cresents in his skin. Everytime Elliot talked a little too much about computers, he'd recieve in exchange a cigarette driven into his skin in neat scolding circles. Everytime Elliot failed to pick up on social ettiquite, metaphors, ambiguity , Magda would growl and berate and tell him to stop acting like a r*t*rd. Not a single trait went unpunished.

So, Elliot learned to repress and hide, to turn it all inwards. And he suffered for it. The people he met, however, picked up on his awkwardness, his discofort in his own skin, his routines and insistance on wearing the same hoodie everyday.

The day that they met, Shayla had asked him "you don't like people, huh?"

It was true he doesn't like most people, but mostly, he doesn't understand them. Not their lies and deciet and delibrate causing of harm. Not their failure to just say what they mean, or their judgment of people who don't follow the rules they were never told existed in the first place. He didnt understand how others deal with all chaos and stimulation of life.

One day, when he and Shayla had gotten to know each other more, she asked him  
"Hey, i hope this doesn't, like, offend you or anything, but, are you autistic?"

Slightly taken aback, Elliot's eyes widened before he looked down at his feet, avoiding the eye contact which causes extreme discomfort and lost ability to focus. He nodded, shyly.

"Nice. I thought so. Don't take this the wrong way, just, you remind me of my niece."

He looked at her with interest, "the one who gave you Qwerty?"

"Yeah," she smiled at him.

Not everyone understood him like Shayla and Darlene, unfortunately. Angela tried hard to understand him, but she didnt always succeed, not completely. Her asshole of a boyfriend Ollie was always taken aback by his blunt honesty, and as confused by him as an old closed minded white woman listening to rap music for the first time. The day Elliot hacked the prison, Isaac Vera had called him 'rainman' , and Elliot tried not to think too much about that film and its stereotypical, misleading depiction of autism and savant syndrome. Isaac didn't even realise Elliot actually is autistic. Such is life in a world where everyone thinks you can tell instantly.

One friday, not long after Elliot started working for Allsafe, Gideon had casually asked Elliot if he had any weekend plans. Elliot glanced at him, shrugged, and said "sure," without knowing he was expected to elaborate. Later, when he left for home, Gideon pulled Angela aside. 

"I dont get him. Does he not like me?" Gideon worries aloud.

"No, that's just what he's like. He probably just doesn't know what to say," Angela explains best as she could. Gideon is quick to learn small talk usually won't go to plan with Elliot.

In prison, after Leon had rescued Elliot from Kevin and his neo-nazi scumbag gang, Elliot sat in a corner of the library, still shaken, when Leon found him again. He knew his body was rocking slightly back and forth, soothing himself, but he didn't care. No one could see him anyway. Leon approached his spot between the bookshelves, now clean of blood, and slid down to sit next to Elliot. 

"How you feelin', cuz?"

"Yeah," Elliot replied, barely audible.

Ignoring the not quite fitting reply, Leon turned his head to look at him before asking "why do you do that so much?"

"Do what?" Elliot inquired, confused.

Leon pointed to Elliot's hand in his hair, and only then does Elliot realise its been there the whole time, fingers running gently back and forth.

"Oh," he said, "it feels nice, i guess."

Leon nodded in response, considering his answer.

Elliot enjoyed Leon's company, and can't say he doesnt apprieacte another person of the very few existing ones who are comfortable to sit with him through non-verbal periods. Elliot had always apprieacted silence and his own thoughts, and its nice to be around people who don't expect you to be filling the silence with nonsense chatter.

Sometimes Elliot gets over stimulated, the neurotypical world to bright and loud and full of stimulation. From Magda he'd gotten into the habit of shutting down more than melting down, always finding the quickest way out of the bad environment. Not only victim to sensory overload, becoming emotionally overwhelmed was cause to curl up and stim, whether it be rocking or echolalia or other, and wait for it to pass. 

Elliot became more comfortable with each person he knew and liked as they all gained more and more understanding of him and how he works. No burns or harsh words came his way at displaying his traits anymore, and at that he felt impossibly relieved. Darlene, of course, had supported him where she could since she was old enough to understand, and he finds comfort in the knowledge she won't leave him. Whenever, for example, she would tell him about what a new on the scene hacker had pulled of, sometimes he couldn't quite prevent himself from flapping or humming in excitement and awe. Darlene would simply smile at him softly, then tell him more.

Now Elliot sits at home at his desk, one hand clacking away on his keyboard while the other runs through Flippers soft fur, feeling the welcome weight and heat of her curled up in his lap. He'd always liked how animals didnt expect anything from you. They could just sit in each others company watching the world go by at their own pace.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Being called the R slur and Rain Man is too fucking real, i hate ableists.
> 
> Hair stimmers unite!
> 
> Feedback is welcome.


End file.
